I was 19 at the time, and I am now 20. As part of Gen Z, I grew up accustomed to the world becoming more digitized and connected. I was initially skeptical of the arrival of the online gambling scene, as I grew up in a rather religious household, which is common in Filipino culture across many families. What started as skepticism toward my classmates’ laughter and excitement over sports bets and baccarat ended up becoming one of the worst prisons I could not escape from in my mind.
I gave my classmate a small amount of money, and it grew into more. Then that grew again, and I thought I had found a way to make money. As someone studying commerce, I even tried to build a strategy by putting my gambling winnings into crypto to boost what I would make. I had a stubborn character from the start, so despite losing heavily at the beginning of my crypto journey, I kept going, motivated by the dream of creating a huge stream of passive income.
Little did I know that gambling is one of the worst ways to get a dopamine increase, working on the brain in ways similar to another drug, “shabu” (methamphetamine). This simple scientific explanation shows why it is so difficult to break free from, both habitually and psychologically.
That first win soon fell flat. With the irritation and crash I felt, my stubborn nature sought another way to continue my gambling addiction: online loan apps, which were growing in popularity alongside gambling. This destructive cycle of gambling, borrowing, losing, borrowing, and losing once again made it impossible for me to stop without medical help. I spent 22 days in the psychiatric ward, then was sent to a rehabilitation facility to detox for a total of 7 months, where I was taught recovery principles to carry out my program when I returned home.
Now I have remained free from gambling for 265 days. The relationships I destroyed, especially with my parents and my close friends, have been restored. This includes one friend whom I scammed of a large sum of money, and whose friendship has since been returned to me. I was able to pass the entrance exam at a new university. My debts from the many online loan companies, many of which used unjust practices that doubled and almost tripled their interest rates, ballooning my total debt to an enormous sum, were paid by my parents, who continued supporting me. I also owe this to my relentless prayers and my efforts to keep going while being away from society for an extended period of time.
Gambling destroys lives psychologically, neurologically, and spiritually, no matter the background, with sufficient scientific evidence. If only I had been more educated, I would have stayed away from the start. I share this story in the hope of reaching gambling addicts who still suffer, who seek a way out but find piles of debt everywhere they look, those who regret but cannot be found, and those who cannot find true peace of mind. I say all this as a recovering gambling addict who continues in his recovery. I am not perfect by any means, but I now live in much greater peace, far from the destruction gambling once brought to my life.