Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter whether love is returned or not. If I give love only to get a response on my terms, my love is canceled out by my motives. If I have the capacity to give love, then any return I get for it is a special …
Since I’ve been in Gamblers Anonymous, I’ve learned to redefine love. I’ve come to understand, for example, that sometimes it’s necessary to place love ahead of indiscriminate factual honesty. No longer, under the guise of perfect honesty, can I cruelly and unnecessarily hurt others. Today, I must always ask myself, What’s the best and most loving thing I can do? …
When we first reached Gamblers Anonymous and for the first time in our lives stood among people who seemed to understand, the sense of belonging was exhilarating. We felt that the problem of isolation had been solved. We soon discovered however, that while we weren’t alone anymore in a social sense, we still suffered many …
We’ve all had times when we felt alienated, when it seemed we had nowhere to turn and no one to turn to. When we don’t know which way to turn, when there seems to be no one to help us, even then we’re not alone or without help; the presence of God is always with …
When I have only myself to talk to, the conversation gets sort of one-sided. Trying to talk myself out of a small wager or just one hand is like trying self-hypnosis. It simply doesn’t work; most of the time, it’s about as effective as trying to talk myself out of a case of flu. When my heart is heavy …
I know today that I no longer have to proceed on my own. I’ve learned that it’s safer, more sensible, and surer to move forward with friends who are going in the same direction as I. None of us need feel shame at using help, since we all help each other. It’s no more a …
When we’re new in Gamblers Anonymous, we’re novices at reaching out for friendship—or even accepting it when it’s offered. Sometimes we’re not quite sure how to do it or, indeed, whether it will actually work. Gradually, however, we become restored; we become teachable. We learn, for example, as Molière wrote, The more we love our friends, …
Getting over years of suspicion and other self-protective mechanisms can hardly be an overnight process. We’ve become thoroughly conditioned to feeling and acting misunderstood and unloved—whether we really were or not. Some of us may need time and practice to break out of our shell and the seemingly comfortable familiarity of solitude. Even though we …
When newcomers to Gamblers Anonymous experience the first startling feeling that they’re truly among friends, they also wonder—with almost a sense of terror—if the feeling is real. Will it last? Those of us who’ve been in the Program a few years can assure any newcomer at a meeting that it is very real indeed, and that it does last. …
When I first listened to people in Gamblers Anonymous talking freely and honestly about themselves, I was stunned. Their stories of their own gambling escapades, of their own secret fears, and of their own gnawing loneliness were literally mind-blowing for me. I discovered—and hardly dared believe it at first—that I’m not alone, I’m not all …