Complacency is my enemy, easy to recognize in others, but difficult to identify and accept in myself. Complacency simply means being sure we’re right—taking it for granted that we couldn’t possibly be wrong. It means, moreover, judging others by what we think is right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and seems to justify qualities …
The minute we think about a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To avoid looking at the wrongs we’ve done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he or she has done us. With a sense of triumph, we seize upon his or her slightest misbehavior as the …
Direct is a key word in the Ninth Step. There are times, unfortunately, when many of us are hopeful that indirect amends will suffice, sparing us the pain and supposed humiliation of approaching people in person and telling them of our wrongs. This is evasion and will never give us a true sense of breaking with the wrongdoings …
When we take the Ninth Step, we must be willing to be absolutely honest. Obviously, though, indiscriminate absolute honesty would blow the roof off many a house and entirely destroy some relationships. We must hold nothing back through deceit and pride; we may need to hold something back through discretion and consideration for others. Just when and …
The Gamblers Anonymous Program teaches us that only one consideration should qualify our desire to completely disclose the damage we’ve done. And that’s where a full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we’re making amends—or, just as important, others close to that person. We can hardly unload a detailed account of extramarital misadventures, …
I believe today that I have a right to make spiritual progress. I have a right to be emotionally mature. I have a right to take pleasure in my own company, and that makes me more pleasant to be with. I also have a right to become willing—deeply willing, entirely willing—to make amends to all …
Readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine. A casual apology, on the one hand, will rarely suffice in making amends to one we have harmed; a true change of attitude, in contrast, …
The Ninth Step of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. To make restitution for the wrongs we’ve done can be extremely difficult, to say the least; if nothing else, it deflates our egos and batters our pride. Yet that in …
Learning how to live in peace and partnership—with all men and women—is a fascinating and often very moving adventure. But each of us in Gamblers Anonymous has found that we’re not able to make much headway in our new adventure of living until we first take the time to make an accurate and unsparing survey …
Somewhere along the line, as we become more involved in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, we reach a sharp awareness of the growth-value of honesty and candor. When this happens, one of the first things we’re able to admit is that our past behavior has been far from sane or even reasonable. As soon as we …