Readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine. A casual apology, on the one hand, will rarely suffice in making amends to one we have harmed; a true change of attitude, in contrast, …
The Ninth Step of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. To make restitution for the wrongs we’ve done can be extremely difficult, to say the least; if nothing else, it deflates our egos and batters our pride. Yet that in …
Learning how to live in peace and partnership—with all men and women—is a fascinating and often very moving adventure. But each of us in Gamblers Anonymous has found that we’re not able to make much headway in our new adventure of living until we first take the time to make an accurate and unsparing survey …
Somewhere along the line, as we become more involved in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, we reach a sharp awareness of the growth-value of honesty and candor. When this happens, one of the first things we’re able to admit is that our past behavior has been far from sane or even reasonable. As soon as we …
I don’t believe that the Gamblers Anonymous Program and the Twelve Steps work because I read it in a book, or because I hear other people say so. I believe it because I see other people recovering and because I know that I, too, am recovering. No longer do I believe that I am helpless and …
Many of us have had difficulty ridding ourselves of the ravages of guilt. During the early days in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, I either misunderstood certain of the Steps, or tried to apply them too quickly and too eagerly. The result was that I increased my feelings of guilt and worthlessness, rather than freeing myself …
Guilt is a cunning weapon in the armory of the compulsive gambler. We can use the weapon against ourselves in many subtle ways; it can be deftly wielded, for example, in an attempt to convince us that the Gamblers Anonymous Program doesn’t really work. I have to protect myself constantly against guilt and self-accusations concerning …
When I least expect it, my keen addictive mind will try to divert me back toward my old ideas and old ways. My mind is expert, in fact, at planting and nourishing negative feelings within me—feelings such as envy, fear, anxiety, or guilt. The minute I spot any of these poisonous feelings rising up, I …
Some of us, new in Gamblers Anonymous, couldn’t resist telling anyone who would listen just how terrible we were. Just as we often exaggerated our modest accomplishments by pride, so we exaggerated our defects through guilt. Racing about and confessing all, we somehow considered the widespread exposure of our sins to be true humility, considering it a great spiritual …
A friend in Gamblers Anonymous taught me to look at excessive guilt in an entirely new way, suggesting that guilt was nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened is fine, he said. But guilt, no. I’ve since learned that condemning ourselves for mistakes we’ve made is just as …