Among the important things we learn in Gamblers Anonymous is to be good to ourselves. For so many of us, though, this is a surprisingly difficult thing to do. Some of us relish our suffering so much that we balloon each happening to enormous proportions in the reliving and telling. Self-pitiers are drawn to martyrdom …
One of the best ways to get out of the self-pity trap is to do some instant bookkeeping. For every entry of misery on the debit side of our ledger, we can surely find a blessing to mark on the credit side: the health we enjoy, the illnesses we don’t have, the friends who love us and …
The Twelve Steps were designed specifically for people like us—as a short cut to God. The Steps are very much like strong medicine that can heal us of the sickness of despair, frustration, and self-pity. Yet we’re sometimes unwilling to use the Steps. Why? Perhaps because we have a deep-down desire for martyrdom. Consciously and …
When I begin to compare my life with the lives of others, I’ve begun to move toward the edge of the murky swamp of self-pity. On the other hand, if I feel that what I’m doing is right and good, I won’t be so dependent on the admiration or approval of others. Applause is well …
Self-pity is one of the most miserable and consuming defects I know. Because of its interminable demands for attention and sympathy, my self-pity cuts off my communication with others, especially communication with my Higher Power. When I look at it that way, I realize that self-pity limits my spiritual progress. It’s also a very real …
One of the most serious consequences of the me-me-me syndrome is that we lose touch with practically everyone around us—not to mention reality itself. The essence of self-pity is total self-absorption, and it feeds on itself. Rather than ignore such an emotional state—or deny that we’re in it—we need to pull out of our self-absorption, …
When we first come to Gamblers Anonymous, the most common variety of self-pity begins: Poor me! Why can’t I just gamble now and then, like everybody else? Why me? Such bemoaning, if allowed to persist, is a surefire invitation for a long walk off a short pier—right back to the mess we were in before we came …
The feeling of self-pity, which we’ve all felt at one time or another, is one of the ugliest emotions we can experience. We don’t even relish the thought of admitting to others that we’re awash in self-pity. We hate being told that it shows; we quickly argue that we’re feeling another emotion instead; we go …
We learn the value of meditation in the Gamblers Anonymous Program. As the beginning of the Eleventh Step suggests, we sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him. One of the great values of meditation is that it clears the mind. And as the mind becomes clearer, …
Over and over, I see that those who make the best and steadiest progress in the Gamblers Anonymous Program of Recovery are those who readily accept the help of a Higher Power. Once they can do that, it’s easier for them to get out of their own way. Their problems then seem to resolve themselves …