How many of us would presume to announce, Well, I’m on my way to licking the gambling habit. What more can I want, or do? I’m fine just the way I am. Experience has taught us that the price of such smug complacency—or, more politely, self-satisfaction—is an inevitable backslide, punctuated sooner or later by a very rude …
If ever I come to the complacent conclusion that I don’t need the Gamblers Anonymous Program any longer, let me quickly remind myself that it can do far more than carry me through the anguish of living in the bondage of addiction. Let me further remind myself that I can make even greater strides in …
The primary purpose of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is freedom from compulsive gambling; without that freedom we have nothing. But that doesn’t mean I can say, for example, Compulsive gambling is my only concern. Except for that, I’m really a super person, so give me freedom from gambling, and I’ve got it made. If I delude myself …
Complacency is my enemy, easy to recognize in others, but difficult to identify and accept in myself. Complacency simply means being sure we’re right—taking it for granted that we couldn’t possibly be wrong. It means, moreover, judging others by what we think is right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and seems to justify qualities …
The minute we think about a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To avoid looking at the wrongs we’ve done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he or she has done us. With a sense of triumph, we seize upon his or her slightest misbehavior as the …
Direct is a key word in the Ninth Step. There are times, unfortunately, when many of us are hopeful that indirect amends will suffice, sparing us the pain and supposed humiliation of approaching people in person and telling them of our wrongs. This is evasion and will never give us a true sense of breaking with the wrongdoings …
When we take the Ninth Step, we must be willing to be absolutely honest. Obviously, though, indiscriminate absolute honesty would blow the roof off many a house and entirely destroy some relationships. We must hold nothing back through deceit and pride; we may need to hold something back through discretion and consideration for others. Just when and …
The Gamblers Anonymous Program teaches us that only one consideration should qualify our desire to completely disclose the damage we’ve done. And that’s where a full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we’re making amends—or, just as important, others close to that person. We can hardly unload a detailed account of extramarital misadventures, …
I believe today that I have a right to make spiritual progress. I have a right to be emotionally mature. I have a right to take pleasure in my own company, and that makes me more pleasant to be with. I also have a right to become willing—deeply willing, entirely willing—to make amends to all …
Readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine. A casual apology, on the one hand, will rarely suffice in making amends to one we have harmed; a true change of attitude, in contrast, …