As compulsive gamblers, self-delusion was intricately woven through almost all of what we thought and did. We became experts at convincing ourselves, when necessary, that black was white, that wrong was right, or even that day was night. Now that we’re in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, our need for self-delusion is fading. If I’m fooling …
The Fourth Step suggests we make a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory—not an immoral inventory of ourselves. The Steps are guidelines to recovery, not whipping posts for self-flagellation. Taking my inventory doesn’t mean concentrating on my shortcomings until all the good is hidden from view. By the same token, recognizing the good need …
Inventory-taking isn’t always done in red ink. It’s a rare day when we haven’t done something right. As I uncover and face my shortcomings, my many good qualities will be revealed to me also, reminding me that they have the same reality as my faults. Even when we’ve tried hard and failed, for instance, we …
It’s often said that you can’t tell a book by its cover. For many of us, our covers or surface records haven’t looked all that bad; it seemed at first, that making an inventory would be a breeze. As we proceeded, we were dismayed to discover that our covers were relatively blemish-free only because we’d deeply buried our defects beneath layers …
Step Four enables me to see myself as I really am—my characteristics, motives, attitudes, and behaviors. I’m taught in Gamblers Anonymous to search out my mistakes resolutely. Where, for example, had I been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened? I’m taught, also, that my deeply rooted habit of self-justification may tempt me to explain away each fault as …
The Gamblers Anonymous Program’s Fourth Step suggests that we make a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves. For some of us, no challenge seems more formidable; there’s nothing more difficult than facing ourselves as we really are. We flee from one wrongdoing after another as they catch up with us, forever making …
Someone once inquired of a Zen master, How do you maintain such serenity and peace? He replied, I never leave my place of meditation. Although he meditated early in the morning, for the rest of the day he carried the peace of those moments with him. Being quiet, slowing down, is one of the most difficult tasks facing most …
When I dwell on piddling things that annoy me—and they sprout resentments that grow bigger and bigger like weeds—I forget how I could be stretching my world and broadening my outlook. For me, that’s an ideal way to shrink troubles down to their real size. When somebody or something is causing me trouble, I should …
We’ve been our own worst enemies most of our lives, and we’ve often injured ourselves seriously as a result of a justified resentment over a slight wrong. Doubtless there are many causes for resentment in the world, most of them providing justification. But we can never begin to settle all the world’s grievances or even arrange things so as …
On numerous occasions, I’ve found that there’s a strong connection between my fears and my resentments. If I secretly fear that I’m inadequate, for example, I’ll tend to resent deeply anybody whose actions or words expose my imagined inadequacy. But it’s usually too painful to admit that my own fears and doubts about myself are …