A friend in Gamblers Anonymous taught me to look at excessive guilt in an entirely new way, suggesting that guilt was nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened is fine, he said. But guilt, no. I’ve since learned that condemning ourselves for mistakes we’ve made is just as …
Few of us are entirely free from a sense of guilt. We may feel guilty for things we’ve said or done—of things we’ve left unsaid or undone. We’re so used to that gnawing guilt that even when we’re accused falsely we still feel guilty. When I’m troubled by naggings of guilt, obviously I can’t put …
Adjusting myself to things as they are, and being able to love without trying to interfere with or control anyone else, however close to me—that’s one of the important things I search for and can find in Gamblers Anonymous. The learning is sometimes painful; however, the reward is life itself—full and serene. Is the Program …
The Gamblers Anonymous Program teaches me that not too many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us have to admit that we’ve loved only a few, and that we’ve been quite indifferent to many. As for the rest, well, we’ve really disliked or hated them. We in Gamblers Anonymous find we …
Acceptance is a key. Too often I was unable to accept who I was, and therefore it was impossible to accept others. Before coming to Gamblers Anonymous, I hid from the truth because I was afraid of it. Now with the help of my GA brothers and sisters, I can walk through it. Today I …
The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image, wrote Thomas Merton. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. As I replace my self-destructive addiction with a healthy dependence on the Gamblers Anonymous Program and its Twelve Steps, I’m …
In the process of learning to love myself and, in turn, to love others freely with no strings attached, I’ve begun to understand these words of St. Augustine: Love slays what we have been, that we may be what we were not. More and more, I feel the enormous power of such love in the Gamblers Anonymous …
Slowly, but surely, I’m becoming able to accept other people’s faults as well as their virtues. The Gamblers Anonymous Program is teaching me to always love the best in others—and never fear their worst. This is hardly an easy transition from my old way of thinking, but I’m beginning to see that all people—including me—are to some …
Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter whether love is returned or not. If I give love only to get a response on my terms, my love is canceled out by my motives. If I have the capacity to give love, then any return I get for it is a special …
Since I’ve been in Gamblers Anonymous, I’ve learned to redefine love. I’ve come to understand, for example, that sometimes it’s necessary to place love ahead of indiscriminate factual honesty. No longer, under the guise of perfect honesty, can I cruelly and unnecessarily hurt others. Today, I must always ask myself, What’s the best and most loving thing I can do? …